Thursday, @3:30 p.m. December 21, 2017
I love happy endings. Our little friend Joe is the last person I ever thought would have any sort of happy ending or happiness in his difficult life.
Joe is 63. As a child he was battered so badly by his abusive parents and siblings that there was permanent brain damage rendering him slow and unable to learn to read or concentrate long enough to be employable in any way.
Dave met Joe over 30 years ago when he rode past the construction office on his bicycle one afternoon. Joe must have logged thousands of miles on that bike; his only freedom. Joe asked Dave if he had any work for him. Dave put him to work pulling nails out of boards and weeds in the planting beds but soon realized that Joe could not handle those simple jobs; not for lack of wanting to work and be productive but he just couldn't keep his attention in one spot for that long.
Dave often saw Joe after that riding his bike around town. He lived in a little town called Dale about 15 miles from Batavia but rode his bike into town almost daily. He lived with his parents in their tiny little house. A hoarders, filthy shack by every description. As Joe tells it there was animal "poop" all over the house. Eventually his parents died and his future was uncertain. There was no food in the house but one of Joe's buddies in Batavia ran a vending machine business and he told Joe he could have the expired sandwiches. Joe lived on those sandwiches for quite some time.
Dave helped him get in touch with Social Services and a Social Worker was assigned to Joe. They helped him keep the little shack-house and get food and medical care.
Joe cleaned up the little house and made it shine. He would go to paint stores in town and they gave him leftover paint. He mixed it all together and voila! His whole house, inside and out was painted this non-descript but
clean color. He dragged home discarded furniture items he found on the street, cleaned and painted them and put them in his little castle.
Dave started taking Joe out for Christmas dinner. It was the only time Joe got to order what ever he wanted off a menu. Deciding it would be a good experience for Steve, Ryan and Chrissy, Dave had then go along sometimes. Reality check for the children.
A few years later I entered the picture and Dave invited me to a Joe/Christmas dinner. Meeting Joe for the first time was a real experience. He was very shy at first and then started talking non-stop. He wanted us to come into his house and see all his Christmas decorations and have Dave read to him the few Christmas cards that people had sent him.
I was tremendously impressed by his decorations, improvised furniture and the cleanliness of it all. He was really proud to show us an old freezer someone had given him and wanted us to see all the food in it. Then I saw the most beautiful, shiny, 1940's stove. It was gorgeous and had more chrome on it than an old Buick. I have a thing for old appliances and this was a piece of vintage perfection.
I asked Joe about it and he said it was his Mother's and the only thing left from them that wasn't trashed. He had cleaned it up and used it everyday. It was, without a doubt, the only material thing of any value in that little house.
The summer after I met Joe, Dave and I were riding our bikes in the county park and Joe rode up on his bike. He wanted to race Dave so off they went. I'm not sure if Dave let him win or if Joe really won. Doesn't matter. We were making a little picnic dinner and asked Joe to join us for a hot dog. He was shy at first be we insisted. He said that was the only picnic he had ever been on. Cue the tears!
Joe used to ask Dave if he knew of a pretty school teacher who could drive to be his girlfriend? No one came to mind. Dave tried to get him to go to ARC for social activities but he declined.
The years flew by and no matter how busy Dave was he never missed a Christmas dinner with Joe. I went along and enjoyed watching Joe order shrimp and steak and desserts even though he was down to just a few teeth; he managed to pack it away. At the end of one of the dinners we drove Joe home and went inside his house to give him his gifts. I went into the kitchen and instead of the gorgeous old stove there was a tiny apartment stove in it's place. I did a double take when I saw it. I asked Joe where the old stove was and said his friend traded him the little stove and a used dryer for the big stove. I didn't see a dryer anywhere and Joe said his friend never brought him the dryer. Dave and I were so pissed we could hardly see straight. Joe had been swindled big time. Dave found out who the bad guy was and turns out that he is a local psycho who is best left alone or he might hurt Joe. I still steam over this all these years later.
Eventually the little house became too much for Joe and he became severely depressed. His case worker thought he might be suicidal. I mean what ever was his incentive to get up in the morning? He was lonely and in a bad way. They made him sell the little house and moved him into a county nursing home where he has lived for the past 7 years.
The first time we went to pick him up there we went inside to see his room. My closet is larger than his whole living space. He has a toilet and sink and has to use the communal showers down the hall. He needed a new tv so we brought him one and a dvd player and showed him how to use it. So that's where he spends his time as he says the rest of the residents are "crazy" and doesn't wish to associate with them in the social area. It did have that 'One Flew Over the Cuccos Nest" vibe to it and was very depressing. I haven't gone back in there since that one time.
We have seen an improvement in Joe since his low point a few years back and for the past few years we pick him up, go to his restaurant of choice, the Red Osier, then take him to the local Dollar General to let him pick out some things. He picks out non frivolous things such as batteries, razors, socks, and one year he wanted a new blanket with a Coyote picture on it. Joe speaks very well and uses vocabulary correctly. Every now and then he will come out with something profound but usually he talks about a good deal he got on a used coat at the Salvation Army or the price of everyday necessities.
At the end of the night when we drop Joe off Dave and I are both quiet most of the way home. It may seem we are doing something good for Joe but it is Joe that is doing the good for us. His little visit snaps your priorities back in order and makes you feel guilty for all the whining one does about selfish, unimportant things. He makes you thankful for your good life.
SO, yesterday Dave called Joe to set up our dinner date. Joe told us that he has a
girlfriend who lives there at the nursing home and they have been together for 5 months!!!! Dave told Joe that we would love to have her come along for dinner and Joe said he would ask her. So now we are a couple hours away from picking Joe up and maybe get to meet the mystery girl; we don't even know her name. I feel like all the sappiest Christmas movies I have ever seen are being eclipsed by this great and happy news! Joe has someone to care about and who cares about him! Thank you Santa!!!
I will post later how the dinner went and the latest in the story of Joe!
